Today’s my birthday. Well, not really since I’m writing this on Thursday so I can have the weekend and my birthday off. So let’s be more accurate here:
If you’re reading this, then I’ve turned thirty-nine.
That fits my mood about the whole thing a bit better. I’m not a very graceful ager. I am jealous of those of you who are comfortable with who you are and where you are. My brain is still fairly convinced that I’m 26 or so (and my sense of humor is still firmly at around age 5), although my body is starting to win the reality debate. It always freaks my brain out a little bit when I realize I’m about to leave my 30s and I never even felt like I was in them in the first place.
Probably the biggest part of the “wall” that is 40 that is speeding at me is that everyone has been telling me for years that if I am going to have kids, I need to have them before I turn 40. So I feel like I’ve got this major deadline but am in no place financially or emotionally to feel comfortable having a child. Heck, I still don’t even know what I want to be when *I* grow up, let alone how to help someone else grow up.
Maybe at 40 I will have my sh*t together. What? It could happen!
One thing that is really helping me ease into this whole 39 business is that Eli coordinated with my whole family, and they all pitched in to get me a new Juki TL2010Q! I am so beyond thrilled! I still love my Pfaff, but I’ve definitely been trying to do things with it that is outside its realm of expertise.
I’ve spent some time with my new Juki and my current challenge is mastering a good scant 1/4″ seam. Other than that I’m loving the knee lift and it turns out the threader is easy if you’re a leftie. And I am already completely spoiled by the thread cutter! I did a little playing around with quilting to figure out the tension settings, and I love how it quilts. Bring on the doodle stitching!
P.S. Please feel free to share stories about people successfully and happily having children at 40 or after. My grandma had twins at 46, but my brother tells me that I probably shouldn’t hold out for that myself.